Disclaimer for the feds: Incite, Conspire, Inspire is a solely-for-fun section never designed to give real advice. The tools, tactics and ideas given on the series are only thought to entertain. We would never dream of anyone using any of this tools as a form of dissent and we do not promote, partake in or condone any illegal activities that might derive from said tools. 

We’ve all been there. The demo gets rowdy and there are a few bricks being thrown at the nearest Starfucks. Walking in the countryside you hear gunshots a field away. You’re waiting in the queue at the bank and decide to rob it instead. You’re babysitting your nephew and Netflix seems to be down. 

We have a solution for all those situations and you’re probably wearing that solution.

No face – no case! might be a bit of an overstretch, but the reality is that masking up can keep you and many others safe. In a society where state surveillance is at all times high, with cameras on every corner and mobile phones in every pocket, covering your face helps greatly against that sneaky fucking camera that films you popping a McDonald’s window on a Tuesday morning. But you might not always carry a neck warmer on you, or one of those fancy fucks with three holes that cover your whole face, makes you look incredibly menacing and are ridiculously hot for a summer evening.

The solution is simple and will make you look like a badass ninja (so you can entertain your nephew, remember?). Pop that t-shirt off and follow these very easy steps:

1- Turn your t-shirt inside out. This will help with any branding that the shirt might have, hiding that badass Defend Direct Action bolt cutter print you got from Unoffensive Animal.

2- Put that t-shirt over your brain bucket, with the neck hole on your eyes (so you can see, duh).

3- Grab the sleeves of the t-shirt and tie them behind your head, tight enough so it holds, but not too tight you give yourself a fucking headache.

4- Arrange your eye-hole. Try covering your eyebrows and lift up the bottom as close to your eyes as possible, covering the nose. Then grab those two lil bastard folds on the side of your head and tuck them in making the whole thing nice and tight.

5- Finalise your ninja style. The label of your t-shirt is sticking up. Fold that thing in. Depending on your situation you might also want to tuck the end of your t-shirt under your hoodie so it doesn’t flap around, avoiding your enemies grabbing and pulling it.

6- Rob that bank. Or play ninja attack with your nephew. Up to you.

ON MASKING UP: The black mask is not a fucking fashion accessory. We get it, you put that mask on and look at yourself in the mirror and you feel badass as fuck. You might even take a selfie or two. Don’t be a fuckwit. Black masks are a tool. They help during a demo by avoiding folks being singled out. Even if you aren’t throwing bricks, it is a lot more difficult for the filth to find who it was if everybody is masked up! The same way, paired with some sunglasses, it can help cover skin colour of whoever is underneath it. Black masks are solidarity, even if you are never “Up to no good”.

When someone does an open rescue, an investigation or a photo-Op for instagram and they mask up whilst freely giving their name and surname away, they are simply capitalising on the looks as if a black mask was an accessory. Don’t be that person. When a black mask is the way forward, remember that it is helping you keep anonymous and it is helping the masses keep anonymous too. Behave accordingly. Tuck that fashionable pink hair inside and cover your tattoos and your nose piercing. You can show off all that later on, but for now, you are one with the masses and the masses have the power. For a world of freedom, black masks and gasoline. UA.

Video courtesy of We all miss Stimulator.

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